Rebirth
by IMPeak123
Summary: I've decided to continue this, still focusing one chapter at a time on each of the character's perspective. Alot of introspection and reflection, but following storyline on show to some degree. Still believing that Callie and Arizona are MFEO and they will be re-born.
1. Chapter 1

_Rebirth: Part I_

Callie left the room as quickly as her weak legs could carry her, never once turning back to look Arizona in the eyes. She couldn't. She could never look into the pale, sparkling blue eyes that stole her heart all those years ago. The eyes that lit up with joy whenever Sofia laughed…the eyes that turned dark with desire, glowing almost sapphire in the dim light of their bedroom…the eyes that could, without any words, make Callie feel like the most adored person on the planet. If she had looked at Arizona again, even for a second, she would not have had the courage to do what both of them so desperately needed her to.

Callie had made a harsh decision for them all, but it was one that she truly believed was necessary. She and Arizona had been riding a terribly fast, wickedly nauseating carousel- one that promised never to cease spinning if one of them didn't push the power switch. Perhaps they could ride together again someday…something new, like the ferris wheel, that would take them high above the ground and make them feel like they were on top of the world.

Right now, the world as they knew it, had just about swallowed them up. Callie had felt herself venturing on a downward spiral for quite some time now, but always chose to blame the circumstances of their lives for her despair. The things she and Arizona had gone through definitely played their part in the destruction of their marriage, but it was the two of them who were ultimately responsible for destroying each other. Neither one of them had been happy in their own skin, which made it impossible to really give themselves to one another the way they had all those years ago.

Could they ever get back to that place? Callie wasn't sure. But she knew the answer would be _no_ if they stayed together now. If they continued to ride the carousel of desperation, and hurt, and fear, they would never be able to get off. And they would shatter not only their own hopes and dreams, but one another's souls. She loved Arizona way too much to let that happen. And for the first time in a very long time, she loved herself too.

As a separate individual the past thirty days, Callie realized that she wanted more out of life. She wanted to be a bad-ass Ortho surgeon again. She wanted to let loose…to drink Tequila and eat cheeseburgers with Meredith…to dance in her underwear. She wanted to be herself, instead of trying so hard to be the person Arizona needed her to be.

And she knew that her wife deserved the same thing. Arizona needed to rock her fellowship and live up to her amazing reputation. She needed to laugh at weird jokes with Kepner…to drink wine to enjoy herself instead of to escape…to love life the way she used to. _They both deserved better_.

They could never give the kind of love they were both so worthy of if they didn't do this for themselves. And maybe they would never come back to one another. Maybe they would never fall in love again. But this was surely the only chance they had at a real life-a life of peace and happiness, instead of sorrow and resentment. Callie wanted that for herself…for Arizona…and above all, for Sofia.

A tear streamed down the brunette's face as she thought of her little girl. How was this going to work? How would they explain this to Sofia? Thoughts raced through her mind and she contemplated going back to Joe's, shooting back Tequila until the sun came up, making the pain stop for just a little while. But that wouldn't really help, would it? Being drunk would only make her rethink the awful, yet necessary decision she had made. It would be a matter of a few hours before the alcohol clouded her judgment, fogging up her brain and swelling her heart with the one emotion she was trying to suppress in order to move on. _Love._ Undying love for the woman she had just left.

All at once, a lump formed in Callie's throat. It was going to be so hard to stay away from Arizona. Not to _hug_ her…_kiss_ her…_make love _to her. She thought back to last night- _the last night _with the woman she loved. Callie was standing outside the hospital now, misty rain beginning to dampen her thick, black locks. It was cold. The rain was cold and wet, and she desperately hoped it could make her forget.

"_Calliope…I-I, I need to practice."_

Arizona's skin felt so perfect under her fingertips, their bodies suddenly so in tune.

"_No talking. Rules."_

The memories continued to flood Callie's mind as the rain began to pour down. She closed her eyes tighter, but nothing could stop her from remembering that kiss. The first kiss in thirty days. The kiss that she longed for during their separation. The kiss that would surely fill her dreams every night and cause her heart to ache every day.

She thought of the look in Arizona's eyes- those dark, sapphire eyes filled with desire. It was for only a few seconds that their eyes met, but a lifetime of words passed between brown and blue. _I miss you. I love you. I need you. I want you._

After that, it was lips and tongues and teeth, their mouths desperately trying to reclaim all that was lost in thirty days. The desire was so strong that it overcame them both, jello bellies quickly landing on the kitchen floor as Arizona leaned back to let Callie reclaim her.

"_What if she makes us start over?"_

Arizona's body was under her now, quickened pulses moving in time with their joined forms. Callie could still taste Arizona's flesh on her lips.

"_What if we don't tell her?"_

The next hour was filled with ecstasy, their bodies and souls joined in a very different way. It was familiar and new all at the same time, and for the first time in what felt like forever, they were completely in sync. Arizona's hips rose to meet Callie's…fingers linked together seamlessly…lips danced to the rhythm of their combined figures. _They made love._

Callie felt a pounding deep inside her that she swore was her heart, about to beat out of her chest. Then she saw the flash of lightening behind her lids, followed by another loud clap of thunder. She knew she should get out of the storm, but her body wouldn't move. She was numb and aching all at once. The thought of Arizona inside of her faded like the distant memory it would become, and the pounding that commenced this time was most definitely her heart. The lump in her throat was so big that she couldn't swallow, air being stolen from her lungs. She couldn't _breathe_. She couldn't _move_. _She couldn't live._

_This was it. This was what dying felt like_.

Callie closed her eyes once more, trying to get back to the memory of last night. But she couldn't. It was over. _They _were over. And she was dying.

In that moment, it would have been easy for Callie to run back inside the hospital, track Arizona down, tell her she had made a mistake- that they should stay together, _forever_. But if forever is what she really wanted, which it was, she couldn't do that. She had to stay strong…see the bigger picture…let them die.

For it is only through death that we can ever be reborn. The life Callie and Arizona had started together five years ago was over. Things had happened. Events had caused them both to change. Each of them, in their own right, had been resurrected. They needed time to get to know their new selves…to understand who they had become…to love the life that was before them now. And maybe, if they were really lucky, they would find love again. Maybe, against all odds, they would find it together.

Callie had to give them that chance. Arizona was worth it. _Their love _was worth it.

Lighting struck again, the intense brightness burning the pair of tear-filled chocolate orbs staring up at the sky. It was time. The carousel had come to a complete stop. The ride was over, and a new life was beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

_Rebirth: Part II_

Arizona marched, like the good soldier she was raised to be, out of the therapist's office and toward the daycare. It was her night to pick up Sofia. She took a deep breath, wiped the tears from under her eyes, and just walked. She was good at stuffing all of her emotions down into her chest and burying them. She could deal with it later. She was fine. _This was not going to break her_.

A few hours later, Arizona had her little princess all tucked in for the night. Sofia had a full belly, a bath, seven bedtime stories, and maybe a few too many tickles. Arizona loved the way her miniature Calliope laughed, the most beautiful and innocent sound pouring from her sweet lips. She loved Sofia's rich, chocolate eyes. They were just like Callie's. They were big and round…warm and loving…_brilliant_. Both pairs had the ability to shine right into the blonde's soul. It was the most amazing feeling, one that Arizona never expected to know in her lifetime.

Arizona Robbins grew up tough. Getting dealt a military family and a name like Arizona was surely a winning combination. She got teased a lot, spending a large majority of her adolescence warding off bullies and just taking it in stride. She had to be strong. She had to be a soldier. Her father would accept no less.

Then she realized she liked girls. Or rather, that she didn't like boys. How would he ever accept her? _He wouldn't_. So she kept it a secret, confiding only in Timothy. Her brother knew everything…kept all of her secrets…took care of her. And then- _he_ _died_, fighting the good fight, like all Robbins men.

From that day on, Arizona swore she would never love that deeply again. Losing Timothy was too hard. Her world was shattered. She reluctantly came out to her parents, moved away for medical school, and never looked back. _Time to change the game_. No more hiding. No more hurting. It was time for her to fly.

And she soared. She became a brilliant surgeon, explored her sexuality, and just got to be _herself. _She no longer recognized the scared, scrappy little girl she once was. Arizona Robbins was a beautiful, intelligent, genuinely happy person who spent her days saving tiny humans. Her nights were filled with a glass of expensive wine and an occasional tryst with some girl she met at the bar. She never let things get too serious though. _No, those walls weren't coming down_.

At least until she met Calliope. Everything changed then. Her whole world began spinning and she couldn't stop it. She jumped on the carousel full force and hung on for the ride. Every promise she ever made herself to keep her emotions inside- to keep people _out_, went right out the window when those brown eyes first looked into her soul. She would do anything for Callie. She would love her, and protect her, and be her good man in the storm.

That's how it was supposed to be. Arizona was supposed to take care of Callie. She tried. She tried _so hard _to be the rock…the shoulder to cry on…the healer of all the injustices in their world. And she was, for a while. But then life grabbed their sweet, happy little merry-go-round and spun it with a force that was determined to throw them both off the ride. _Shooting_. _Africa_. _Baby. Car accident. Plane Crash. Leg. Infidelity_. They had held on for so long. They loved each other that much. But each of them needed what the other just couldn't give anymore.

Arizona knew her wife had made the right decision for them all. But it still hurt like hell. She was devastated. She cursed herself for suggesting the separation, even though she, too, believe it to be necessary. The past thirty days were hard, not only because she was away from Callie, but because she knew the separation would come to an end they would eventually fall right back into the same pattern. _Disagreement. Anger. Passion. Sex. Love. Resentment. Imprisonment. _The carousel would continue moving at warped speed while they kept trying…and trying_…_and trying _again _to fix it. Each time they thought they could slow it down for a while- just enjoy the ride together, a new problem would arise. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. And Arizona knew that deep down. She knew the ride wasn't fun anymore.

Every word her Calliope spoke at their last therapy session was true. They were both stuck, unable to bring the carousel to a stop. _Because it was hard_. Because they had a child. Because they so desperately wanted it to work. Because, despite it all, they loved one another fiercely.

Arizona probably would never have been able to do it- to stop them from going round and round in circles. The roles were reversed a long time ago, and she was dependent on Callie for everything. She knew that. Callie knew it too. So _she_ made the ride stop. _She _did it for the both of them. _She set them free_.

Freedom is an interesting thing. Everyone wants it…needs it…fights for it. But when it's handed to you on a silver platter, it somehow becomes less desirable. Arizona had been craving the freedom she used to have. However, in this moment, it didn't seem so appealing. Maybe because it felt forced upon her. Maybe because she didn't have the courage to take it for herself. Maybe because having freedom now meant _not having _the love of her life.

Calliope Torres would always be that for her. She would always be the love of Arizona's life, whether they found one another again or not. No one could ever compare. No one would even come close.

Suddenly, the blonde felt a smile form on her face. So many people never even get a chance to experience the kind of love she and Callie shared. So many people never find _the one. _They search their whole lives for that indescribable, magical feeling. Arizona had found that. She loved Callie with every fiber of her being, just as Callie loved her. No one could ever say they didn't try. Hell…maybe they were _still_ trying. Maybe that's why Callie had done this. Maybe she hadn't given up on them after all.

Arizona wondered when Callie had known. When had she decided they should stay apart? Did she know right away? _No, that didn't make sense. _Callie was distraught. She couldn't stand them not being together. Maybe it was when she started coming home drunk…or just didn't come home at all. Supposedly, she was out- working with Meredith Grey on some breakthrough surgery. _Was that even true_? What if her jealousy instincts were right and Callie had cheated? No. _She_ was the cheater_. She_ was the one who pushed Callie away.

She didn't push Callie away last night, though. She couldn't. She couldn't stand it any longer. She tried. She had tried so hard, for twenty-nine days, to avoid the woman she loved. No talking. No touching. No feeding the addiction.

To her, Callie was a drug. Something she wanted…needed…desperately depended on. _Callie made Arizona feel alive. _

Last night, the blonde felt more alive than she had in weeks. It was as if they had been reborn. There's no way the woman whose bare body melted with her own, light and dark skin drenched in love, had know what would happen in therapy the next evening. She couldn't have known. _None of this made sense_.

The tears were beginning to form in Arizona's beautiful, blue eyes once more. She took a deep breath and just stopped thinking for a moment. Why was she trying to make sense of it all? Life doesn't make sense. _Love_ doesn't make sense.

Maybe it didn't have to make sense right now. Maybe it was supposed to be confusing, and painful, and nauseating. After all, the ride they were on had them so dizzy that getting off would prove to be a difficult feat in itself. They would each have to be steadied, independently of one another, in order to be able to walk again.

_Thirty days wasn't enough_. They needed more time to plant their feet on the ground…more time regain control of their bodies and minds…more time to discover life beyond the carousel. That's why Calliope did it. That's why she broke both of their hearts. _She did it to save them. _

"Mama…"

Sofia's sweet, tired voice filled the empty silence in the air. Arizona shook her head vigorously, trying to stop the world from spinning so she could step off the ride and into her new life. She put one foot on the ground, then the other, finally letting go.

"I'm here, sweetheart," she called to her daughter as she wiped away one last tear.

Time for the soldier to march on…keep on fighting…win the battle that threatened to claim her life is she wasn't careful. But she wasn't in this battle alone. Callie was there, fighting right along with her. _They could still make it_. That's what Arizona had to tell herself in order to keep going. She had to keep going. _This was not going to break her_.

As she walked toward Sofia's room, the blonde felt the gift of freedom Callie had so generously given her take over. It wasn't going to be easy to fly at first, but she had to spread her wings. She had to continue her fellowship without emotional distractions. She had to become a better doctor…a better person…a better wife. _She had to find herself again._ She needed that. She needed to soar. And then, without obligation- without guilt, and fear, and dependency…she could make her way back home to the nest. And hopefully, Calliope would fly back there to meet her.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

**Callie's POV:**

Since the first day of this new, supposedly better life for the two of them, Callie hadn't been able to look Arizona in the eyes. _She just couldn't do it_. She couldn't look at those eyes and actually stay on track. A mere glimpse of pure, blue perfection would cause her to cave instantly. Then everything she had been working towards would be for nothing.

"_I didn't want any of this." _

Callie heard those words in her ear, replaying in the same, bitter tone her love had spoken them in the first time around.

How could Arizona say that she didn't want this? _She asked for it. _The whole thing was her idea. Seeing the therapist…the trial separation…wanting more time apart. Callie was the one who didn't want any of it, at least not in the beginning.

The brunette was miserable. She hated life without Arizona. More than anything, she wanted to kiss that woman and tell her she loved her more than life itself. But she couldn't do that.

Although it was agonizing, being apart from her wife was also liberating. It gave Callie the opportunity to be herself, independent from the person Arizona loved and needed. The two of them were so entwined that they had somehow lost themselves. And in losing themselves, they were beginning to lose the joy they had once shared.

Callie wasn't lying when she said she had laughed more during those thirty days apart. Arizona had laughed more too. Callie had heard the happiness in her voice during their first week apart. Back then, it had angered the brunette. She wasn't having an ounce of fun being separated.

Feeling so alone then, Callie had gone to bed intoxicated and angry most nights. She didn't want to think about why she was no longer able to make that dimpled smile appear. That was _her _smile. _She lived for that smile_.

Callie thought for a while, and finally admitted to herself that she hadn't been smiling much either. At least, no _real_ smiles had graced the world with that warm, brilliant presence that Arizona had fallen in love with.

_They weren't making each other happy anymore. They needed to be apart._

The thought had hit Callie like a ton of bricks, causing a downward spiral she believed was going to end her life. She drank more, sulked more, cried more…until she didn't have a single tear left.

_And then it happened. She gave in. _Callie finally gave in to the notion of being separated. And once she did, she begun to see it's merits. What the therapist had said was true. Many things had happened over the years- things that had changed them, both independently and a couple. Unable to talk to, or even be with her wife, had given Callie time to reflect. _With_ Arizona, she was no longer truly happy. But _without_ her, life felt meaningless. How had this happened? Where had she gone wrong? Did her wife feel the same way?

_Of course Arizona felt the same way_. Callie knew that deep down inside. She also knew the blonde wasn't going to admit it. _They_ were different than other people. Nothing could break them. They were meant to be together. They both had believed that.

So Callie continued to believe that, despite how irate and hurt Arizona was that she had chosen to end their marriage as they knew it. But that's all the Ortho goddess was ending. She wasn't ending the love she had for the perky Peds surgeon. She wasn't ending their life together as mothers to beautiful, sweet Sofia. She was ending the connection they would always have.

_This wasn't the end_. And this _wasn't_ going to end her life. It was going to start a new life for them. They would be reborn. Callie chose to let fate take control. If she really believed Arizona was her soul mate- that they were made for each other- she would have to set her free. She would let her go to save her…to save them…to save herself.

Callie repeated these ideas in her head over and over, every single day that she spent longing for the gorgeous blonde she now tried to avoid in the halls. She repeated these ideas as she focused her big, brown eyes away from the endless ocean of blue she so desperately wanted to get lost in, whether she passed Arizona in the surgery wing or passed her their sleeping child.

"_Do you…m-miss me, at all?"_

Those words had cut the brunette deeper than any scalpel she'd ever picked up. The lump in her throat that day in the waiting room had made it nearly impossible to speak. She couldn't say what she wanted to- that she missed Arizona so much it hurt…that tough days at work now led to tougher nights at home spent aching for the body no longer beside her…that her heart and soul felt incomplete without Arizona filling them as only she could.

"Of course," was all she could reply, once again looking away from those baby blues.

"_Just not…enough."_

She let Arizona walk away after that, brown eyes glued to the floor. There were no words that could help with the pain she was causing. But it was a pain that was necessary for them to grow, and change, and hopefully come back together someday.

Arizona knew that. She had to know it, right? She had to know that this was all for her…_for them_. Callie buried her head in her hands as she watched the blonde disappear into the elevator.

"_Paging Dr. Torres."_

The sound of her name over the hospital intercom resonated in her ear, but Callie didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to go on pretending that being a surgeon, and helping Vets, and caring for Sofia was enough. But she had to.

"_Dr. Callie Torres to O.R. 2. I repeat- Dr. Callie Torres to O.R. 2."_

And with that, the mask went back on. The curtain opened up again. The show had to go on, with or without her broken heart.


	4. Chapter 4

**Arizona's POV:**

Months had passed now, but it still hurt. Being without Callie still hurt, like a knife cutting deep into her soul.

Arizona lay on the uncomfortable sofa that she and Dr. Herman had moved in the middle of the night, occasionally glancing at the woman across from her. The blonde smiled as she thought of the unlikely friendship that was forming between herself and Nicole. She needed that friendship right now. She needed someone to laugh with, and joke with, and be herself with. She didn't feel like herself much anymore. It's hard to remember who you are when your identity has been wrapped up in another person for so long.

Nicole opened one eye, then the other, a crooked smile playing on her lips. _"_Robbins, are you staring at me again? I told you, I'm not going to sleep with you."

Arizona laughed awkwardly, her mind as far away as the distant gaze Herman was trying to figure out.

"Where are you, Robbins?" Herman inquired. "Did something happen in the…let's see, one hour and forty seven minutes since I went to sleep?"

Arizona's eyes began to focus slowly on the person before her, instead of the person she was always thinking of.

"Callie," the blonde blurted out. "I cheated on her."

"Yes, we established that already," Herman said with a smirk.

"I never should have done that, Arizona continued. "She…sh-she's perfect and I…"

"Wait," Nicole interjected. "First of all, nobody's perfect."

Arizona rolled her eyes, although Herman was right. Callie wasn't _perfect_. Neither of them were. They had each made mistakes- some bigger than others, but mistakes nonetheless. It would be pointless to try and tally up each of their wrongdoings, or pinpoint which ones were more harmful. They had both hurt one another, many times, and no amount of love or forgiveness could change that.

Herman snapped her fingers in Arizona's face, effectively snapping her back to reality.

"Okay, fine…nobody's perfect," the blonde admitted. "Well, except for maybe Sofia."

The picture of her mini Calliope popped into Arizona's head, causing a huge smile to form on her face. Sofia was everything good, and pure, and beautiful about the love her and Callie had created. She was the reason the tired, overworked and emotionally drained surgeon woke up every morning. She was the reason Arizona hadn't ventured into a deep, dark hole somewhere.

"Well, I can't argue with a mother's love," Nicole said. "Children are all perfect to the people who love them. I'm sure we've both seen some not-so-perfect babies in our line of work. But their parents don't see them the way the rest of the world does."

"Thank God for that," Arizona whispered.

"For what it's worth," Nicole continued, "I can see why you'd call the bigger version perfect too. Callie has quite the reputation in the Ortho field. I hear what she and Hunt are doing is extraordinary."

"I'm sure it is," Arizona sad sadly, her heart sinking. She knew nothing of what Callie was doing, either personally or professionally, and it killed her. She was as unprivileged as interns, eavesdropping for a mere glimmer of information about someone she once knew every detail about.

How did this all happen again? Wait…_she did this to herself_. She asked for this devastatingly lonely, new life. If only she could go back. _But she couldn't_. She ruined it all. Callie didn't want this. At least, not at first. The beautiful brunette had begged Arizona. But she had pushed Callie away…and now, she was _really_ gone. Would life ever feel better than it did now without her? What if it didn't? What if a broken heart was the center of her whole existence from that point on?

_That deep, dark hole was calling Arizona Robbins right to it._

"And she is absolutely stunning, isn't she?" Herman continued, once again snapping the blonde out of her despair.

Arizona had to think for a moment about what Nicole had just asked, her mind trying to free itself from the trap it was in. _Stunning. Herman said that Callie was stunning_.

"Yes," Arizona said, the lump in her throat growing . "You have no idea."

Arizona felt her eyes began to well with tears, the image of Calliope's naked body intertwined with her own now nothing more than a distant memory. Sometimes she could close her eyes and practically feel her lover's touch…hear the sexy giggle that always came from those delicious lips…smell the fragrance that was so uniquely Callie. And sometimes she could barely remember what it was like to be with that beautiful goddess. _But she never wanted to forget._ She never wanted to move on, at least not _really._

Now Herman was the one staring, although this time Arizona could see genuine concern in the older doctor's eyes. "You alright, Robbins?" Nicole asked as she lay back down on the couch and yawned. "I mean, are you alright enough to do what needs to be done _here_?"

"I've been doing it, haven't I?" the blonde said with a sneer, Herman's implication making her a bit defensive.

Arizona took a deep breath and leaned her head against the arm of the sofa. The truth was, she probably wouldn't have ben able to do all the things asked of her at work if she and Callie were still together. She wouldn't have been able to log extra hours in the O.R., or spend all those nights doing research and going through Herman's notes. The truth was, none of the amazing advances in her career would have been possible if Callie had chickened out the way she did. Callie did what she had tried to do. _Callie was strong enough for the both of them._

"Goodnight, Nicole," Arizona whispered, her exhausted and very ill friend already on the verge of sleep.

"Sweet dreams, Robbins," Nicole said, offering a sympathetic smile. "Get some rest. I'm counting on you."

The blonde wiped the tears from under her eyes and smiled. Tomorrow would be another day, full of new lessons, and cutting edge surgeries, and time with her sweet baby girl. Tomorrow would be a gift, just like every other day on the same planet as her Calliope. And surely, Arizona would have sweet dreams, as tomorrow brought her one day closer to being back in the arms of the woman she loved.

Those arms were waiting for her, she believed that now. There was still hope. One simple conversation allowed her to understand it all. More than any other lesson Herman had taught her, this one was the greatest yet.

And in the quiet peacefulness of night, Arizona Robbins prayed. She prayed for her friend. She prayed for herself, and Callie, and their daughter. And more than anything, she prayed that hope was real. After all, that was all she had left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Callie's POV:**

Calliope Torres trudged slowly to the nearest on-call room, her head pounding and her heart filled with emotion. She hadn't left the hospital much since Dr. Herman's surgery. She just _couldn't. _She couldn't leave Arizona's side. And although the words never actually spilled out, Callie knew Arizona needed her.

The exhausted brunette lay her head down on the thin, stiff pillow, her eyes shut tight in a futile attempt to sleep.

"Sofia's dropped off at daycare. My next surgery isn't for six hours. All of my post-ops are doing well. And, a-a-nd she's with Herman. She's waiting for Herman to wake up. There's nothing I can do."

Callie thought she could convince herself not to worry. The worst was over. Herman was out of surgery. And although she hadn't woken up yet, she had survived. She didn't die on Shepard's table. Yes, it had been a few days. But Nicole had major brain surgery. Her body and mind needed time to rest…to recover…to heal. She could still wake up.

Suddenly, a thought entered Callie's mind and she popped up off the uncomfortable bed and fled the on-call room. Her feet carried her as quickly as they could to the one and only place she hadn't been the past several days.

With determination, Callie pushed open the chapel doors and entered the place she could feel closest to Him.

"Dear God…please, pleeeeeaaaase save Nicole Herman. Please let her wake up and be _oka_y," Callie whispered, knees on the floor before the alter. "I don't…I don't know her very well. And I know she's gruff, and kind of cold, and actually pretty mean…"

The brunette laughed, imagining all the ways the cranky, older surgeon had tormented poor Arizona over the past four months. But her perky, Peds surgeon had survived it all. She did more than survive. She thrived. Arizona had learned so much. She had grown so much as a doctor. Callie was so proud.

A smile naturally formed on Callie's lips as she beamed at the thought of Arizona shining like the star Callie always knew she was. Just then, a candle flickered, bringing the brunette back to the task at hand. "She may be mean, but somewhere inside there is good. She saves babies…and mothers…and families. She may have even saved my family. Please, please let Herman wake up. If not for her sake, then for Arizona's. She doesn't deserve this, God. She's, she's had enough loss."

Callie's eyes began to well with tears, and for the first time in days, she didn't have to stifle them. And so she cried, releasing the lump that had been in her throat since the day of Herman's surgery.

"Do it for me, ok-kay?" Callie pleaded, her voice cracking. "Cause I, I c-can't watch her cry anymore. I just can't. Not without…without comforting her the way I want to. And I _can't_ do that. You know I can't do that. It will ruin everything. _We're not_ ready. So if you don't care about Herman…if Arizona hasn't believed in you enough to do it for her…then do it for _me_. Because if you break her heart, you'll break mine too."

On shaky feet, the brunette stood up and wiped her tear-stained face. She lit a candle for them all and sat in the pew, just watching the tiny flames dance before her. She was staring right at those soft, glowing lights, but the only thing she could see was Arizona's face. The room was silent, but she could still hear the sorrow in her love's voice.

"_She's in my head. But I'm not…I'm not ready for my head to be the only place she exists."_

If Callie thought the first few weeks without Arizona were tough…if she thought that passing her in the halls, or trying to keep their conversations only about Sofia, or fighting the undeniable jealousy she felt seeing her with Herman was tough- then God had taught her a valuable lesson this week. Because none of those things could compare to the unbearable heartache she experienced when she saw Arizona cry.

It hurt every time. Every time those beautiful, blue eyes filled with tears, it felt like a blow to the gut. The pain of watching the woman she loved in such emotional distress had nearly caused Callie to throw the past four months away. _What kind of a stupid plan was this anyway? _Maybe she should just give in to her feelings and comfort Arizona the way she wanted to. Regardless of what had happened between them, the blonde was her still her everything…her sweetheart…her baby. And when your baby is crying, all you want to do is hold them, and kiss them, and make it all go away.

She had almost done it that day in Herman's office. She had almost held Arizona in her arms and whispered, _"It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'll always be here. I love you so much."_

But she didn't do it. She fought that desire, stifling her own tears as she stood by and watched Arizona cry. Calliope Torres sat beside her love and watched the fear and sorrow take over her sweet face. And while she knew in her heart that it wasn't time to hold her just yet, she could at least be there. So Callie grabbed Arizona's hand and held it in her own, trying to convey a message from one soul to another.

When she felt Arizona's head rest upon her shoulder, she hoped that message had been received. It wasn't easy- sitting there with the weight of her love's world on her shoulder. Callie had to use every ounce of strength to stay quiet and just let her baby cry. But she did it. She pressed her head gently to Arizona's, stroking the soft, porcelain skin beneath her fingertips with so much tenderness that words were unnecessary. _"Everything is going to be okay," _Callie promised silently. _"You are strong. You can do this."_

"I can't do this by myself," Arizona cried when Herman was still not awake days later.

Tears were once again clouding the blue perfection before her, the fear and sorrow really starting to take a toll on her love. Callie couldn't stay silent any longer. "You are not by yourself, okay? You're not alone…do you hear me?" she whispered to Arizona, offering comfort in the form of gentle hands upon her back.

A few more days passed and Callie was beginning to worry that maybe she was wrong- that Nicole Herman would never wake up, and Arizona would be forced to make the horrible decision to end her life. It was an awful spot to be in. She knew that firsthand from when Mark slipped away.

But then Owen came running into the O.R. gallery while Callie was finally fixing that torn meniscus. She heard the click of the intercom and looked up from behind her mask.

"Herman's awake," Owen informed her. "Amelia still needs to run some scans, but she's up and talking…no indication of any physical or cognitive deficit.

Now the tears were filling Callie's eyes. "Wow, that's…that's amazing," she replied, smiling up at her friend in the gallery. "Arizona…"

"With Nicole as we speak," Owen interjected. "They did it, Callie. Arizona and Amelia saved Herman's life. It's a miracle."

"Yes, it is," Callie agreed, her smile growing wider. "Okay, Wilson…think you can close up here?" she asked, turning to her resident.

Before long, Callie was out of the O.R. and heading to the Neurology wing. She knew that what Owen had said was true, but she had to see it with her own two eyes. As she rounded the corner towards Herman's room, she caught sight of her right away. Blonde locks glistening under the bright hospital lights…blue eyes sparkling with now happy tears…that super magic smile once again making the world a better place.

"God, I love her," Callie whispered, looking up to the Heavens above. "Thank you. Thank you for all of it."

And just as Callie was about to walk away, Arizona turned to get Nicole some water and blue orbs locked with brown. Another wave of tears. Another super magic smile. Another set of silent words, resounding in the space between them.

"_I love you too_," Arizona's eyes whispered back, a lifetime of love passing between two lost souls. Maybe this was the start to those souls being found. Maybe over time, their hearts were being healed. Maybe the plan would work after all.

**A/N: So I haven't been writing any notes, because I'm trying to stay a bit less personal this time around after all of the ups and downs last time I posted my stories. But I had to mention how much I loved this last episode, found it to be beautiful all around, especially the interaction between Nicole and Arizona…and of course our favorite ladies. Hoping the season will end with Callie and Arizona reuniting. Until then…these chapters may help. Hope you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading ****J**


	6. Chapter 6

**Arizona's POV:**

Arizona Robbins was smiling, bigger than she had smiled in a long, long time. Happy tears were filling her baby blues as she held Nicole Herman's hand tightly in her own.

"_I picked the right horse."_

Those words meant so much to Arizona. Even hours later, she could hear the gratitude in Nicole's voice. Herman was still in her head. Luckily for them both, however, that was not the only place she existed.

Her dear friend would have a long, hard road ahead of her. Arizona knew that firsthand. There were many differences between losing your sight and losing a limb, but there were also many similarities. In both cases, both the body and the brain had to be retrained to accommodate for such a great loss. Life would never be the same. But _life_ was there. That was the point- the point Arizona had so clearly missed for many long months following the plane crash. _She was alive_.

Arizona sat at the side of Nicole's bed for so long that the night nurse asked if she wanted a cot.

"No, I…I-I shouldn't stay. I should go," the blonde whispered, finally retreating from the sleeping woman beside her. But she couldn't leave without saying a few words of her own.

"I know you can't hear me, Nicole," Arizona whispered, "but thank you. Thank you for…everything you've taught me. I'm so glad I'm the horse you picked."

As Arizona Robbins meandered down the hospital wing, a million thoughts raced through her mind. She was the one in charge now- the only maternal fetal surgeon. That was a huge responsibility, but one she believed she could handle. Herman had given her all of the tools she needed, and her instincts and surgical skills would guide her the rest of the way. She was going to be great at this.

For the first time in as long as she could remember, Arizona felt like an accomplished doctor again. She hadn't felt that way since she returned from Malawi and gave her life over to Callie and Sofia. She had been living for them for so long that she almost forgot what it felt like to live for herself. It was nice to have some control back. It was nice to make decisions. It was nice to think about her own dreams and desires…except when those desires involved a certain beautiful brunette. Just as Herman was implanted into her head, Callie was imbedded in Arizona's heart.

No matter how hard she was trying to move on, she just couldn't. She distanced herself, speaking only to Callie when absolutely necessary. Most of their conversations revolved around Sofia, so it was easy to swallow the burning questions. _Is this really what you want? Are you happy without me? Do you still love me?_

Arizona knew exactly what she would say if Callie ever asked her those question. _No, this was never what she wanted. She may have needed the break, but she never wanted it to be permanent. No, she could never be truly happy without the love of her life. And yes, she still loved Callie with ever fiber of her being. _

As if on cue, Callie suddenly appeared before her, her bright eyes trying to make contact with the blue ones before her as she passed her patient's chart to an intern.

"I need a Neuro consult for Mr. Brooks first thing in the morning," Callie instructed, never once taking her eyes off Arizona.

The blonde knew she couldn't run, although part of her desperately wanted to. The past few days had been an eye-opener in so many ways, but her and Callie weren't ready to talk on that level.

"Hey," Callie whispered as she made her way towards Arizona. "I heard about Herman. That's…that's amazing, Arizona."

"Yeah, she's…sh-she's doing good," the blonde replied, choking down the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. "I saw you earlier, but I couldn't…"

"Oh, I know you couldn't leave Nicole then," Callie interjected. "I just had to see for myself. Amelia must be thrilled."

"Yeah, she's amazing. What she did was amazing," Arizona said, looking down at the floor. Why was this so difficult? For the past several days, she had been leaning on Callie…confiding in her, relying on her for moral support, opening up emotionally.

"Give yourself some credit, Arizona," Callie said, ducking down to force the blonde to make eye contact with her. "From what I understand, you are the reason any of this happened. You saved her life too."

Arizona smiled, allowing herself to look deep into those rich, chocolate orbs. "Thank you," she whispered, swallowing that lump. "Thank you…for being there, and listening, and just…"

"Of course," Callie replied. "I meant what I said, Arizona. You're not alone."

There was silence for a long moment, awkwardness filling the air between two people still so in love.

"I'm sorry," Arizona blurted out just as Callie was about to say something. Callie raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry that you were alone…w-ith, with Mark. I'm, I-I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to…"

"Arizona, you…you were in no state to be there for anyone then," Callie said, her eyes welling with tears. "I know that now."

"But…b-b-but I should have been," the blonde choked out, fighting her own tears. "Yes, I had lost my leg…but, but I was alive. Mark died. Lexie died. But I didn't. I'm alive…and, a-and I should have been more grateful for that."

"I was grateful enough for the two of us," Callie whispered, reaching out to grab Arizona's hand. "Believe me…"

Arizona could feel the love that woman still had for her, and although she still wanted to ask those burning questions, it wasn't necessary. Callie's eyes, as they peered deep into her soul, answered them all. _No. This wasn't what either of them really wanted, but it was necessary. They were making progress. Old wounds were slowly being healed. And yes- they could learn to be happy without one another. But that didn't mean they wanted to stay apart. And yes…definitely yes- Callie still loved her just as much as she still loved Callie. She could feel it. _

"Well, it's just about time for me to pick up Sofia," the brunette said, slowly retracting her hand.

"Give her a kiss for me, "Arizona said with a smile.

"Will do," Callie replied, offering her own warm smile before walking towards the elevator.

Arizona leaned back against the wall, watching her love disappear behind the elevator doors. Everything was different between them now. But different wasn't a bad thing. In fact, the blonde truly believed they were changing for the better. They still had a long road ahead of them, but eventually they would meet on the same path. Their journey would end together. They were still alive.

"I picked the right horse," Arizona whispered to herself, finally letting the tears fall. "Calliope will always be the right horse."

**A/N: So now there's so much going on with the C/A storyline, that I actually have to play catch up here (so not a bad thing!). I am super excited to write about 11x16, but I felt the need to show Arizona's POV after Herman's surgery first. The journey we are going on with our favorite ladies is a long, sometimes difficult one, but I really believe it will be worth it in the end. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Callie's POV:**

Since Herman woke up, Arizona didn't seem to need Callie anymore. Everything was as it had been. They talked…about Sofia or work. They saw one another…in passing or in transferring their child. _Maybe it really was over between them_. That's not how Callie felt, deep down in her aching heart. But was it really her heart calling out for the woman she loved? Or was it all just in her head? Had she simply just convinced herself that Arizona was the only one who could make her happy? Clearly, Arizona wasn't pining for her anymore. _Was she? _Maybe she had moved on. Maybe Callie should try doing that herself.

And so the day started with Callie accepting an invitation for a date from another blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman on the dating site Owen convinced her to try.

"I don't know if I can do this," Callie mumbled as she thumbed through Heather's pictures once more.

"Why not?" Owen asked, glancing at the screen over Callie's shoulder. "She looks nice. And she's attractive. And hey, says she likes kids. That's good…you know, since you have one."

"Yeah, sure," Callie snickered. "She seems great. It's just. She's, she's not…"

"Arizona," Owen blurted out before she could. "No one is ever going to be, Arizona. I thought that was the whole idea, Callie."

"It was," the brunette sighed, exhaling loudly. "I know I need to do this. I can't be sure unless I at least try dating other people."

Owen reached over and clicked the accept button under the date request from Heather.

"Owen!" Callie yelled, spinning around in her chair.

"What?" he replied, a big grin on his face. "I'm just getting the ball rolling for you. You deserve to be happy, whether it's with Arizona or someone else."

"Hmmm," Callie muttered, feeling sick to her stomach over her now scheduled date. "How's it going with your someone else?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he whispered, backing up to the doorway as he pulled out his pager. "Well, gotta go. Good luck, later. Keep me posted, Torres."

After her scheduled surgery, Callie picked Sofia up from daycare and went home. She tried to focus on the time she had with her daughter, but once Sofia went down for her nap, her mind began to race again. The whole afternoon dragged on, the thought of going on the date with Heather causing Callie so much anxiety that she began to feel sick. When the babysitter rang the doorbell, time was up. There was no getting out of this now.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" the brunette asked herself as she stared into the bathroom mirror. "It's just a date. I've been on plenty of dates before. It's no big deal. I can do this. And…and who knows? Maybe it will be good. Maybe she'll be…"

Callie couldn't finish that sentence. She knew that wouldn't be true. There was only one _amazing_ woman on this earth…at least, in her eyes. And she wanted it to stay that way. She wanted to keep believing in her and Arizona. She wanted to keep believing that they were meant for each other and that no one else could ever compare to her beautiful, blue-eyed, dimpled girl.

As she continued to look in the mirror, Callie began to feel afraid. Afraid she wouldn't be able to make it through the date without feeling guilty, like she was cheating on her wife. But more than anything, she was afraid that she would actually enjoy being with someone other that the woman who she had dedicated her life to.

"Um…Callie," the babysitter called, snapping the brunette out of her thoughts. "I know it's really none of my business, but you said you needed to be somewhere for seven and it's…seven ten."

"Crap," Callie yelled, giving her hair a once over before rushing out of the bathroom. "Thanks, Katie. I left money for pizza on the kitchen counter and there's ice cream in the freezer for later."

"Ice cream!" Sofia shouted excitedly, jumping up and down. "Yay, Mommy got ice cream!"

"You enjoy it, sweetheart," Callie said with a giggle as she bent down to kiss her baby goodbye. "Be a good girl."

Five minutes later, Callie was rushing into the restaurant. She scanned the room for Heather and finally saw her sitting at the bar.

"So sorry I'm late," Callie lied, already feeling the guilt in the pit of her stomach. She wished Owen had never convinced her to do this. Why did she listen to him?

"It's totally fine," Heather said, eying Callie up and down. "I've dated doctors before…I know how it is. Did you have some amazing surgery or something?"

"Actually, I didn't come from the hospital," Callie admitted. "I was home with my daughter, waiting for the sitter to show up. She's always late." _More lies_.

"Awww, you have a little girl," Heather said. "What's her name? Tell me everything about her?"

Callie opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She couldn't do this. She couldn't talk about _their_ daughter with anyone else.

"Why don't you tell me all about you," Callie suggested, flashing Heather a big, fake smile. "And let's get some drinks…"

Half an hour later, Callie was saved from another meaningless tale from Heather's childhood. She felt the familiar vibration of her pager and this time, a real smile took over her face. Luckily, Heather was too busy looking over the dinner menu to notice.

"Oh no," Callie whined, feigning disappointment. "I just got paged 9-1-1 to the E.R. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to…"

"Cut the date short?" Heather asked, interrupting her. "It's totally fine, " she whispered, stroking the back of Callie's hand. "I guess I'll have to get used to it, right?"

Callie laughed nervously as she stood up from the barstool and threw on her jacket. "Well, this was…n-nice," she blurted out, trying to sound sincere. "Maybe once things die down a bit at work…"

"No problem," Heather said, gazing into the brown eyes before her. "Come on, I'll walk you over there."

Callie tried to convince Heather to stay and have some dinner, but the blonde refused. So as fast as her feet could carry her, Callie marched to the hospital with Heather right on her tail.

"_It's almost over," _Callie told herself as she stepped into the familiar world of the hospital. _"I'm almost off the hook."_

But then it happened- the kiss. The kiss came as a shock. Callie wasn't expecting it, and her first instinct was to pull back and push Heather away. But the longer she stood there, allowing that kiss to happen, the happier she began to feel. She wasn't happy because she had feelings for Heather…or because it felt so good to be kissed…or because that kiss could lead to pleasure, or sex, or a new relationship. _She was happy because she felt nothing. _

Kissing Heather reaffirmed what she desperately needed to be reminded of- that Arizona was the one and only person for her. And so there, in the middle of the hospital, Calliope Torres allowed herself to be kissed. She allowed herself smile, and remember, and dream of what _real_ kisses would feel like when she got to share them with her love again someday.

"Maybe we'll…do it again sometime." Callie lied once more, knowing she would never want to pick up the phone when Heather called for that second date.

The brunette inhaled deeply as she watched Heather walk away, unable to stop the big, goofy grin that was forming on her face. That grin came to an abrupt halt, however, when Callie caught sight of Arizona peering at her through the window. Her heart felt like it had stopped. _How could this be happening?_

In that moment, Callie could have thrown caution to the wind and poured her heart out to Arizona. She could have told her that she was still so in love with her…that the kiss with Heather meant nothing…that she never, ever wanted to kiss another human being for the rest of her life. She could have said everything she had been thinking for the past six months. _But she didn't_. She didn't utter a word. Callie wasn't quite sure why, but she couldn't say any of the things she was feeling. And so she stepped into the elevator with the woman who held her heart, keeping her eyes focused on the buttons before her and her mind focused on the plan she had made long ago.

This plan did not consist of rushing back into a broken relationship. This plan did not consist of letting her heart take over, possibly ruining any progress that had been made. This plan did not consist of hurting the amazing woman beside her, although she feared she may have done that already.

"_Fix me. Fix her. Fix us."_

That was the plan. And those were the words Callie repeated over and over to herself- each morning when she looked in the mirror…each night as she tucked in the beautiful creation of their love…and right now as she avoided eye contact with Arizona.

"_Stick to the plan, Torres. You'll have her back soon enough."_

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. There will be more from Arizona's perspective as soon as I can find the time. I know so many of you are probably not sure where C/A is going on Greys. And frankly, I don't either. But I do know that no matter what Shonda does to our lovely ladies, I will continue to support them as a couple (and probably write about them too!) because I truly believe they are MFEO. Stay optimistic people!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Arizona's POV:**

Standing in the elevator beside the most beautiful woman on the planet was not easy for Arizona. It had never been easy to be so close to the one thing you wanted more than anything, but couldn't have. Normally, when she was forced into a confined space with the love of her life, Arizona could keep her cool. She could play the good man in a storm, pretend everything was okay, and get through it without a single sign of the indescribable suffering she was actually experiencing. But today was by no means a _normal_ day.

The blonde had seen her Calliope kissing someone else. Okay, so maybe that someone else had kissed her Calliope. But did it really matter? The point was, Callie had put herself in the position to be kissed. She went out on a date…with another woman. Watching that kiss was gut-wrenching. It hurt Arizona down to the very core she tried so hard to keep locked up tight most of her life. It broke her heart all over again. And if it wasn't for the fact that Arizona knew the woman whose mouth was attacking those perfect, luscious lips, she might have reacted like the scrappy, defensive little girl she used to be and taken back what was rightfully hers. But this woman kissing her Calliope was no stranger. No, she was a person Arizona knew all too well…from the four long and incredibly difficult weeks she had dated her herself.

Arizona had met Heather not long after she had moved to Seattle. She was settling into her new job, her new apartment, her new life. She certainly was not looking for a serious relationship, but Heather couldn't accept that. The older blonde pushed, and manipulated, and forced herself into Arizona's life over the course of a month. And when Arizona finally found the courage to break it off, things got scary- _steak knives scary. _

Arizona knew she had to tell Callie who Heather was, but what she didn't know was how to go about it. As she stood beside Callie in the elevator, a multitude of emotions surged through Arizona's body. Jealousy. Fear. Concern. Heartache. Regret. Love.

"So…big trauma coming in," Arizona said, her mouth finally able to make words. Not words that meant anything, but words nonetheless.

Callie made small talk about the car accident, although clearly she was just as uncomfortable as Arizona.

"I like your…uh, dress," Arizona muttered, breaking the awkward silence again.

"Thanks," Callie replied, never once letting brown eyes meet blue.

"I don't remember that one," is all Arizona could say, jealousy now at the forefront of those emotions.

"It's new," Callie informed her, further fueling the jealous rage beginning to grow deep inside Arizona's chest.

And then the elevator doors opened, snapping Dr. Robbins back into the reality before her. Car accident. Victims. Patients. Work.

This would get her through it. This would let her forget that Calliope bought a new, sexy black dress for someone else to admire her in. This would let her forget that she would spend another long night alone, nowhere near the gorgeous body underneath that dress.

The next few hours were a whirlwind. Trying to save a young, pregnant woman. Watching her die on the table, never having a chance to meet the unborn baby inside of her. Performing surgery in a trauma room. Delivering a premature, but healthy baby in a futile attempt to make life seem less hopeless for the poor man whose world had just changed in a heartbeat. No matter how sad the situation was, they were successful in saving a life- an innocent, beautiful little life.

Arizona was good at that- saving other peoples lives. It was _her_ life she couldn't seem to save, no matter how hard she tried. She thought going to therapy would help. But clearly that idea had backfired. Maybe she should have talked to a therapist sooner, after the car accident, and the plane crash, and the leg…before the miscarriage, and the cheating, and the irrevocable pain she had caused. Maybe she could have saved herself. Maybe she could have saved them. Maybe then, Callie would still be with her instead of out on a date with a psychotic woman.

Arizona couldn't change the past. She knew that. But she could try and change the future. She could still try and save them. And that had to start with saving Callie from the potentially dangerous situation she was heading into with Heather.

When Arizona saw Callie in the NICU, she was prepared to tell her about steak knives. She knew it would be awkward and uncomfortable, but she had to tell her. After talking about what had happened in the E.R. and going over the baby's status, it was time.

"Callie…about earlier," Arizona called as the brunette began to walk away.

"Yeah?" Callie replied, turning around.

"How long has that been going on exactly?" Arizona inquired.

"It hasn't," Callie said, raising an eyebrow. "I mean that was our first date and it got cut short, so we didn't even make it to dinner."

"Yeah, no. So she just skipped right to dessert."

Arizona heard the words leave her mouth and internally cringed. This is not how she wanted this conversation to go. She didn't want to come across as the jealous ex-wife, although that is exactly what she was. She was the _ex-wife_. And she was insanely jealous. She may be able to lie to Callie, but she couldn't lie to herself. The thought of that crazy woman putting her lips on Callie's made her blood boil and her heart ache. Those were _her_ lips to kiss and no one else's. Those were _her _raven locks to grasp between her fingertips. Those were _her_ rich, chocolate eyes to stare into. That was _her_ body to embrace. That was _her_ woman.

"You know what? Let's not do this," Callie said, causing the blonde to snap out of her thoughts.

Arizona fumbled then, unable to just spit out the truth about Heather. Callie began talking, saying something about being kissed and not meaning for Arizona to see it and not needing to apologize, but the words just went in one ear and out the other. Arizona was trying to damn hard to concentrate on what she needed to say to really hear Callie. She was going to do it. She was going to just come out and tell her about steak knives. Arizona opened her mouth again, but before she could say anything…

"I'm moving on now," Callie informed the helpless blonde before her. "And so should you. And it's kind of not your business who I see now…or kiss. Okay?"

Arizona heard _those_ words loud and clear. Her heart dropped. Maybe there wasn't any hope left for them. Maybe Callie meant what she was saying. No. She wasn't _really_ moving on, was she? _What if she was_? What if this whole time Arizona had convinced herself that they were on the path back to one another, but in reality, Callie was heading in a whole new direction? Had she been fighting for them on her own all along? Was she just wasting her time? How could Callie do this to her?

Suddenly, anger struck the blonde like a bolt of lightening. She was not going to let her heart get broken again. Screw love, and honestly, and maturity. Callie wanted to move on? Fine. Let her move on. Let her date whoever she wanted…even a psychotic, control freak like Heather.

"You're right," Arizona whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Godspeed. Go…kiss _everyone_."

She walked away then, unable to look at Callie. "Take a deep breath, Robbins," she told herself as she stepped into the elevator. "You need to stay calm and just…j-just forget about her. It's over. She doesn't want you anymore…a-and, and it's over."

Arizona felt the tears beginning to burn the back of her eyes, but she refused to cry. She had done enough crying. No more. No more sadness. No more whining, and complaining, and feeling sorry for herself. "You started this," she whispered, continuing the conversation with herself. "You knew there was a chance you wouldn't end up together after the trial separation. You said it yourself- she's…you're…you're both different now. Those two people who fell in love no longer exist."

The elevator doors opened up, forcing the blonde to stop talking to herself. But even though she couldn't do it aloud, she had to continue working through that last statement. _Those two people who fell in love no longer exist. _A group of nurses entered the elevator. Arizona forced a smile, practically holding her breath until they got off on the ground floor. She hit number four, the doors closed, and the ride continued. _Those two people who fell in love no longer exist._

Suddenly, Arizona didn't have to fight the tears. She didn't have to work so hard at breathing. She didn't have to worry about any of it anymore. The one simple truth she had uttered in anger and sorrow somehow made everything perfectly clear, and she was okay.

The new Arizona didn't want to be jealous and insecure. She didn't want to fight for a person she didn't really know. Instead, she wanted to get to know the new Callie. She wanted to be her friend…her co-parent…her _person_. She wanted them to have a new relationship…a new life…_a new love_. Because Arizona Robbins did not want to love anyone else. Old Callie…new Callie- it didn't matter. There was only one human being in the world for her.

So she was going to continue to fight like Hell for them. She was going to learn to love everything about the newer version of her one true soul mate. And if she was really lucky, or even just a little bit right about them, Callie would fall in love with the newer version of her too. _They would get to fall in love again_.

In that moment, Arizona knew she would find the courage to tell Callie who Heather was. She would find the courage to keep fighting. She would find the courage to believe. Cause believing was _not_ the worst thing that could happen to her. If she took a chance and they didn't end up together again, Arizona would be devastated. But if she never took a chance at all, she'd be destined to lead a life full of doubt and regret. Because what if it could actually happen? _What if they could be reborn_?

_**A/N: So, there are way too many things going on (both on the show and in my crazy mind) &amp; it was really tough for me to write this chapter. I am one of those silly, die-hard "love conquers all" romantics and will believe until I see it that they are far from being over. I have no clue how Shonda plans on getting them back to one another, but I see potential clues and signs we may actually get there. When? Where? How? No freakin' clue. But I do believe…**_


End file.
